Wide release 2/14/14
Viewed with Fran at the Orleans on Feb. 16, 2014
RT Critic: 13 Audience: 50
Directed by Akiva Goldman
Warner Brothers Pictures
Colin Farrell, William Hurt, Russell Crowe
My comments: Colin Farrell did the best he could with this material. When the movie was over I looked at Fran and said, "Well that was stupid," and she burst out laughing. She'd been holding it in, too. I wanted to like it, I truly did. But it just didn't work. That flying horse just took the cake.... (I'm betting this did okay as a fantasy book. It didn't translate well into a movie.) PeterTraver's Rolling Stone review is right on perfect! (See below)
Fandango review: One night in early 20th-century New York, master thief Peter Lake (Colin Farrell) breaks into a Central Park mansion -- and quickly has his heart stolen by its occupant, Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay). Unfortunately, their love is star-crossed; she is dying from consumption, and he is marked for death by his demonic former mentor, Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe). Peter battles the forces of time and darkness to save Beverly, even as Pearly does everything in his power to defeat Peter.
Fandango review: One night in early 20th-century New York, master thief Peter Lake (Colin Farrell) breaks into a Central Park mansion -- and quickly has his heart stolen by its occupant, Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay). Unfortunately, their love is star-crossed; she is dying from consumption, and he is marked for death by his demonic former mentor, Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe). Peter battles the forces of time and darkness to save Beverly, even as Pearly does everything in his power to defeat Peter.
February 14, 2014
A kick in the ass to Valentine's Day and the very notion of a satisfying Somewhere In Time kind of romantic wallow at the movies. What happens to Mark Helprin's 1983 bestseller at the hands of Hollywood is a crying shame. In his feature directing debut, Oscar-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman (A Beautiful Mind), creates a beautiful mess, an embarrassment of epic proportions. On deck is a supernatural love story that spans a century and even death, Colin Farrell—sporting the epitome of a bad haircut stars as Peter Lake. He's the son of immigrant parents who use a makeshift basket to send him ashore like an infant Moses at Ellis Island in 1895. By 1916, Peter is a thief, running from gangland boss Pearly Soames (a scowling Russell Crowe shouting in an indecipherable Irish brogue) with the help of a flying white horse. Hand to God, I'm not making this up. Pearly's scarred face morphs into demon shape when he's really pissed, which is often. His tantrums prompt a visit to the underground lair of Lucifer (Will Smith, following After Earth with another howling fiasco). But Lucifer won't interfere with Pearly's hunt for Peter who has now fallen hard for Beverly Penn, the dying daughter of a publishing tycoon (William Hurt). Findlay, the late Lady Sybil of Downton Abbey (let's hope she didn't leave that classic series for this!), has a breathtaking beauty that helps you suspend disbelief. But, sorry, not to this extent. Peter and Beverly's night of sexual union – her first and last – ends with an ageless Peter being swept into present-day New York where fate has him intervene in the life of a journalist (Jennifer Connolly) and her dying daughter. And then Eva Marie Saint, 89, shows up playing a figure from the past. And a star twinkles in the sky (could it be Beverly?). We're told in voiceover that everything is part of a grand pattern that we may one day understand. I'm calling bullshit. Winter's Tale is preposterous twaddle. Use it as a date movie only if you don't love the one you're with.
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