58. Turn the Paige by Roseanne Beck

#1 Love Hurts

listened on Chirp

narrated by Stephanie Dillard

Unabridged audio (6:58)
2018
284 pgs.
Adult RomCom
Finished 5/31/2021
Goodreads rating: 3.88 - 79 ratings
My rating: 1

First line/s:  "Hunched over the steering wheel, I peer out my windshield."

My comments: Holy stereotype, what a load of garbage!  Add in a dead grandmother who talks to her dead granddaughter all the time, a protagonist who supposedly adored said grandmother but shows no grief at all at her passing, a doctor who, when confronted with a medical emergency doesn't do any doctoring but takes you to the ER .... I could go on and on.  I think what really accentuated my dislike for the book was the narrator.  Right from the first phrase I knew I was going to have  trouble with her.  Talk about over acting!  Over stressing, over emphasizing, and placing too much emphasis on most consonants were just part of my problem with her  Yuck.

Goodreads synopsis:  Paige has everything she thinks she wants.

Nick might be the one thing she really needs.
Sometimes the best dreams are the ones you didn't know you had.
          Dr. Paige Ellis has worked hard to make her dreams come true. But somewhere along the way, she lost something important--herself.
         Luckily, her dead grandmother is still looking out for her.
         When Paige returns home to fulfill her Nana's last request, she comes face-to-face with an annoying blast from her past. Not only does Nick Collins know just which buttons to push to make Paige crazy, but he also might be the one thing Paige has convinced herself she doesn't need.
          Can Nana and Nick persuade an overachieving workaholic that love might be the best medicine after all?

50. The Shunning by Beverly Lewis

Heritage of Lancaster County #1
After I read this I realized that I had seen the movie to book #2 (The Confession?) and hated it....
listened on Audible
read by Marguerite Gavin
Unabridged audio (7:15)
originally 1997, currently Bethany House Publishers
288 pgs.
Adult "Christian Fiction"  (Amish Garbage)
Finished 6/6/2019
Goodreads rating: 4.14 - 23,280 ratings
My rating: 1
Setting: contemporary "Hickory Hollow," PA, Lancaster County

First line/s: "If the truth be known, I was more conniving than all three of my brothers put together.  Hard headed, too."

My comments:  Not my cup of tea in many, many ways....why do I keep doing this to myself?

Goodreads synopsis: The bestselling story of Katie Lapp, who longs for things forbidden to a young Amish woman. But an unexpected discovery reveals her true past.

34. We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Majia

listened on Audible - borrowed from CCPL
read by Kyla Garcia
Unabridged audio (9:54)
2019 Katherine Tegen Books
384 pgs.
YA Dystopia
Finished 3/31/19
Goodreads rating:  3.78 - 982 ratings
My rating: 1
Setting: Dystopian Mexico, seemingly

First line/s:  "Daniela Vargas woke at the first whisper of footsteps coming up the road."

My comments:  Yuck.  I'm so glad this endless book is over.  It took a zillion pages to tell a story that could've been told in 100.  So incredibly repetitious that I went cross-eyed every time Dani thought the same thoughts over and over...and over...again.  I don't care about any of the characters.  At all.  I hve no idea why it's gotten so many good reviews...I do love the premise, but not much else.

Goodreads synopsis:  At the Medio School for Girls, distinguished young women are trained for one of two roles in their polarized society. Depending on her specialization, a graduate will one day run a husband’s household or raise his children, but both are promised a life of comfort and luxury, far from the frequent political uprisings of the lower class. Daniela Vargas is the school’s top student, but her bright future depends upon no one discovering her darkest secret—that her pedigree is a lie. Her parents sacrificed everything to obtain forged identification papers so Dani could rise above her station. Now that her marriage to an important politico’s son is fast approaching, she must keep the truth hidden or be sent back to the fringes of society, where famine and poverty rule supreme.
          On her graduation night, Dani seems to be in the clear, despite the surprises that unfold. But nothing prepares her for all the difficult choices she must make, especially when she is asked to spy for a resistance group desperately fighting to bring equality to Medio. Will Dani cling to the privilege her parents fought to win for her, or to give up everything she’s strived for in pursuit of a free Medio—and a chance at a forbidden love?

15. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by MacKenzi Lee - BAILED!!

Montague Siblings #1
read on my iPhone
2017, Katherine Tegen Books
513 pgs. (read 40%, about 205 pgs.)
YA Fantasy
Stopped reading on Wednesday, January 30, 2019
Goodreads rating:  415 - 48,970 ratings
My rating:  2

First line/s:  "On the morning we are to leave for our Grand Tour of the Continent, I wake in bed beside Percy."

My comments:  Bailed at about 40 percent.  Couldn't stand the protagonist, and the bits of humor that were fun were definitely not enough to gloss over my eye-rolling dislike of this dolt ---not worth my time.

Goodreads synopsis:  Henry “Monty” Montague was born and bred to be a gentleman, but he was never one to be tamed. The finest boarding schools in England and the constant disapproval of his father haven’t been able to curb any of his roguish passions—not for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men.
          But as Monty embarks on his Grand Tour of Europe, his quest for a life filled with pleasure and vice is in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.
          Still it isn’t in Monty’s nature to give up. Even with his younger sister, Felicity, in tow, he vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt that spans across Europe, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.

103. My Fake Fiance by R. R. Banks

read on my iPhone (free on Kindle Unlimited)
2018 I'm guessing independently published...
310 pgs.
Adult Romance
Finished 12/19/18
Goodreads rating:  3.84 - 419 ratings
My rating:  1 ... crap/yucko

First line/s:  "And for the matter of punitive damages, we the jury award the plaintiff 7.3 million dollars."

My comments:  Okay, third romance in a row and it's total CRAP especially compared to the previous two that I just finished. Yuck.  Time to go back to my previously better-chosen stuff....  (Looking at the Goodreads comments from others will remind me of the stupidness of this story.....)

Goodreads synopsis:  How did a lie and one car ride turn into a full-blown engagement? 
It all started with a sign... Literally.
You might have life figured out, but I definitely don't. 
I'm an aspiring novelist who is destined to be single. 
I'm an imperfect mess -- and that might be an understatement. 
To survive the Holidays, I did something crazy. 
I walked up to L.A.'s hottest bachelor and gave him a proposal. 
Now, I'm in big trouble. 
Trouble in the chiseled form of Miles Churchill. 
He's richer than sin and he's carrying a huge package. 
Falling for him wasn't part of the arrangement. 
Nor is the life changing surprise that's about to change everything...

MOVIE - Mortal Engines

PG-13 (1:51)

Wide release 12/14/18

Viewed 12/14/18 in Camp Hill
IMBd: 6.4/10

RT Critic:  26  Audience:  59
Critic's Consensus:  Mortal Engines has no shortage of eye-catching special effects, but lacks enough high-octane narrative fuel to give this futuristic fantasy sufficient cinematic combustion.

Cag:  1.5

Directed by Christian Rivers

Universal Pictures

Based on the book by Philip Reeve

My comments:  Excruciatingly long and really quite boring, no surprises, over-acted.  Maybe if I had read the book?  Not impressed.

RT/ IMDb Summary:  Hundreds of years after civilization was destroyed by a cataclysmic event, a mysterious young woman, Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), emerges as the only one who can stop London -- now a giant, predator city on wheels -- from devouring everything in its path. Feral, and fiercely driven by the memory of her mother, Hester joins forces with Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan), an outcast from London, along with Anna Fang (Jihae), a dangerous outlaw with a bounty on her head.

MOVIE - The Bookshop

PG (1:53)

Limited release 8/24/18

Viewed 10/25/18 at Carlisle Downtown Theater with Gunner and Sandy

RT Critic: 54   Audience:  48
Critic's Consensus:  A rare adaptation that sticks too closely to its source material, The Bookshop's meticulously crafted world building gets lost in its meandering pace.

Cag:  1.5  Didn't like it at all

Directed by Isabel Coixet

Greenwich Entertainment

Emily Mortimer, Bill Nighy, Patricia Clarkson

RT/ IMDb Summary:  England, 1959. Free-spirited widow Florence Green (Emily Mortimer) risks everything to open a bookshop in a conservative East Anglian coastal town. While bringing about a surprising cultural awakening through works by Ray Bradbury and Vladimir Nabokov, she earns the polite but ruthless opposition of a local grand dame (Patricia Clarkson) and the support and affection of a reclusive book loving widower (Bill Nighy). As Florence's obstacles amass and bear suspicious signs of a local power struggle, she is forced to ask: is there a place for a bookshop in a town that may not want one? Based on Penelope Fitzgerald's acclaimed novel and directed by Isabel Coixet (Learning to Drive), The Bookshop is an elegant yet incisive rendering of personal resolve, tested in the battle for the soul of a community.

MOVIE - Sherlock Gnomes

PG (1:26)

Wide release 3/23/18

Viewed with Tristan, after school on Thursday, March 29, 2018

RT Critic: 27   Audience:  36
Critic's Consensus:  Sherlock Gnomes is sadly, utterly stumped by the mystery of the reason for its own existence.

Cag:  1

Directed by John Stevenson

Paramount Pictures

My comments:  Always fun to take T to a movie, just the two of us, and he enjoyed this.  But for me, yuckety yuck yuck.....

RT/ IMDb Summary:  When Gnomeo and Juliet first arrive in the city with their friends and family, their biggest concern is getting their new garden ready for spring. However, they soon discover that someone is kidnapping garden gnomes all over London. When Gnomeo and Juliet return home to find that everyone in their garden is missing there's only one gnome to call SHERLOCK GNOMES. The famous detective and sworn protector of London's garden gnomes arrives with his sidekick Watson to investigate the case. The mystery will lead our gnomes on a rollicking adventure where they will meet all new ornaments and explore an undiscovered side of the city.

11. Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library by Chris Grabenstein

Mr. Lemoncello's Library #1
listened to on Audible
2013 Random House
304 pgs.
YA Fantasy
Finished 1/21/18
Goodreads rating:  4.33 - 26,546 ratings
My rating:  1.5

First line/s:  "This is how Kyle Keeley got grounded for a week."

My comments:  I was positive I was going to love this book.  Started it twice.  Got through 2/3 of it on the third try, then finally finished it tonight.  I listened to it, probably a big mistake.  I should have read it.  I'll have to get a copy and try reading it because it's not really fair for me to rate it right now, i definitely didn't like it at all as a read aloud.  It's the kinds of book that has lots and lots of clues and i think I needed to SEE them.  Like the Westing Game.  Which I loved.  Every kid I know that has read this book has said they liked it, so I need to read it with my eyeballs.

Goodreads synopsis: A New York Times Bestseller
          Kyle Keeley is the class clown, popular with most kids, (if not the teachers), and an ardent fan of all games: board games, word games, and particularly video games. His hero, Luigi Lemoncello, the most notorious and creative gamemaker in the world, just so happens to be the genius behind the building of the new town library.
          Lucky Kyle wins a coveted spot to be one of the first 12 kids in the library for an overnight of fun, food, and lots and lots of games. But when morning comes, the doors remain locked. Kyle and the other winners must solve every clue and every secret puzzle to find the hidden escape route. And the stakes are very high.
          In this cross between Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and A Night in the Museum, Agatha Award winner Chris Grabenstein uses rib-tickling humor to create the perfect tale for his quirky characters. Old fans and new readers will become enthralled with the crafty twists and turns of this ultimate library experience.

9. The Magician's Elephant- Kate DiCamillo

listened on Audible
2009 Candlewick Press
201 pgs.(I read/listened to about 80 of them)
Middle Grade Fantasy
Feb. 17-18-19, 2017
Goodreads rating: 3.82 (15,420 ratings)
My rating: 1/DNF 'cause I hated it

My comments:  I keep trying to get into Kate DiCamillo's fantastical realms, but I can't.  I loved Because of Winn Dixie, and Raymie Nightingale, but I haven't liked a single other of hers.  And this really bums me out!  I listened to 40% and decided there are so many other books out there waiting for me to read that I'd pass on finishing.  Yuck.

Goodreads synopsis:  In a highly awaited new novel, Kate DiCamillo conjures a haunting fable about trusting the unexpected — and making the extraordinary come true.
          What if? Why not? Could it be?
          When a fortuneteller's tent appears in the market square of the city of Baltese, orphan Peter Augustus Duchene knows the questions that he needs to ask: Does his sister still live? And if so, how can he find her? The fortuneteller's mysterious answer (an elephant! An elephant will lead him there!) sets off a chain of events so remarkable, so impossible, that you will hardly dare to believe it’s true. With atmospheric illustrations by fine artist Yoko Tanaka, here is a dreamlike and captivating tale that could only be narrated by Newbery Medalist Kate DiCamillo. In this timeless fable, she evokes the largest of themes — hope and belonging, desire and compassion — with the lightness of a magician’s touch.

33. Where There's Smoke - Sandra Brown

Audio read by Natalie Ross
14 cds (16:44) unabridged cds
Read in car between Tennessee and Pennsylvania
1993 - Brillianc Audio edition 2009
417 pgs.
CRF/Mystery
Finished 6/2/16
Goodreads rating: 3.92 (5523 ratings)
My rating: 1.5 (2 for goodreads; 1 as I recollect)
Setting: contemporary tiny Texas town and unknown (because the name is changed) Central American country.

First line/s:  "He'd never like cats.  His problem however was that the woman lying beside him purred like one."
        This alone should have tipped me off.....

My comments:  I've always shied away from Sandra Brown, but recently read Deadline, which was pretty good.  So when I saw the chance to nab another - unabridged on cd - I went for it.  Big disappointment.  Simply put: not enough characters to like, and plenty to not like.  Too many unanswered ridiculous maneuvers and happenings.  Bullying and meanness.  Way too much romance for me.  Couldn't wait until it ended.  (And probably should have given it a "1".)

Goodreads synopsis: No one knows why Lara Mallory opens up her medical practice in the rowdy Texas town where Tackett Oil owns everything. But everyone remembers her role in the well-publicized scandal that caused the downfall of White House hopeful Senator Clark Tackett. Now the ironfisted matriarch of Tackett Oil intends to use her money and power to drive Lara out of town…especially when Lara meets Key, the hell-raising, youngest Tackett son. Before long, this determined woman doctor and brash, daring flyer find themselves hurtling on a soul-searing quest for the one secret that can destroy the Tackett empire, as rumors start flying that…Where There’s Smoke.

14. Space Taxi: Archie Takes Flight - Wendy Mass & Michael Brawer

Space Taxi #1
2014, Little Brown Books for Young Readers
112 pgs.
SciFi for kids
Finished 2/27/`6
Goodreads rating:  3.72
My rating:1
Setting: Anywhere, USA

First line/s:"Beep!  Beep!  Beep!  Beep!  It's not everyday a kid like me gets to wake up at midnight."

My comments:  I'm really glad that there are so many people out there who liked this book.  I love Wendy Mass.  I hate giving a negative review.  I'm going to test this out on kids, but I thought it was really stupid.  Over-the-top stupid.  I'll definitely change my rating if I find any kids who like it!

Goodreads synopsis:  Archie Morningstar learns a big family secret and helps save the universe. All before breakfast! 
          It's not every day a regular kid like Archie gets to wake up at midnight. But today is Take Your Kid to Work Day, and Archie is finally allowed to ride along in his dad's taxi cab. He has been waiting eight years, eight months, and eight days for this moment to arrive.
          But he's about to discover his dad is no ordinary cab driver...In fact, he drives an intergalactic space taxi! All night long, he shuttles aliens from one corner of the universe to another. And being a space taxi copilot is no easy task: Archie must steer them into wormholes, keep them from crashing into planets, deal with a very unusual cat...and save the universe from an evil mastermind!
          Space Taxi marks the debut of a brand new chapter book series from New York Times bestselling author Wendy Mass and teacher Michael Brawer, filled with humor, adventure, and plenty of science to impress your friends and teachers!

5. Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge

Cruel Beauty Universe #1
listened to in the car  to work and to Phoenix for PLC Conference
2014 Balzer & Bray
352 pgs.
YA Fantasy
Finished 2/6/16
Goodreads rating: 3.77
My rating: 1/Did not like it
Setting: Arcardia in the past/future/who knows

First line/s:   "I was raised to marry a monster."

My comments:  I so want to give this at least a 2, "it was okay," but I really didn't like it at all, so I must be honest.  I wanted to give up reading constantly, but was curious to see how Hodge would finally end the story.  Part of my problem was, I think, the reader.  She sounded so much older than a 17-year old protagonist.  And for Nix to fall so quickly for both Shade and Ignifex (I didn't read it, I listened, so don't know any of the spellings) --- why?  All the magical "hearts" she'd learned about as a child - nothing was given enough attention except for her endless dreams, sights, and movements around the mansion/castle.  I may have had an entirely different reaction if I'd read this, but I didn't....

Goodreads synopsis: Graceling meets Beauty and the Beast in this sweeping fantasy about one girl's journey to fulfill her destiny and the monster who gets in her way-by stealing her heart.
          Based on the classic fairy tale Beauty and the Beast, Cruel Beauty is a dazzling love story about our deepest desires and their power to change our destiny.
          Since birth, Nyx has been betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom-all because of a foolish bargain struck by her father. And since birth, she has been in training to kill him.
          With no choice but to fulfill her duty, Nyx resents her family for never trying to save her and hates herself for wanting to escape her fate. Still, on her seventeenth birthday, Nyx abandons everything she's ever known to marry the all-powerful, immortal Ignifex. Her plan? Seduce him, destroy his enchanted castle, and break the nine-hundred-year-old curse he put on her people.
          But Ignifex is not at all what Nyx expected. The strangely charming lord beguiles her, and his castle—a shifting maze of magical rooms—enthralls her.
          As Nyx searches for a way to free her homeland by uncovering Ignifex's secrets, she finds herself unwillingly drawn to him. Even if she could bring herself to love her sworn enemy, how can she refuse her duty to kill him? With time running out, Nyx must decide what is more important: the future of her kingdom, or the man she was never supposed to love.

14. The Evelyn Project - Kfir Luzzatto

Read on my iPhone

2012 Kindle edition, Pine Ten LLC

305 pgs.

Adult CRF/Mystery (supposedly)

Finished 2/9/15

Goodreads rating: 3.83 (30 ratings)

My rating:  1 - Yuck

Setting: Contemporary London, Italy, Austria

1st sentence/s: "London welcomed Franco back as he alighted on the sunny sidewalk, right after the end of his weekly student reception hour, by cunningly thrusting upon him an elderly millionaire who spoke in riddles."

My comments:  I hate reviewing a book when I don't like it, but I guess I've got to be honest.  I didn't like this story - or the storytelling - at all.  It was all tell, no show.  It was like the author made an outline and then filled in a few nouns and verbs.  No character development and very little plot development....nothing surprising or disconcerting, and no reason to read through until the end.  Yuck.

Goodreads book summary:  A loving father's cry for help gets into the wrong hands, and a hundred years later things get out of control.
          Evelyn’s father did everything that was in his power to save his dying daughter, black magic included. But when a century later his plea for help gets into the wrong hands, all hell breaks loose.
          Caught in the slippery battlefield between the Vatican and a cult that wants to change the past, a young Italian professor and a beautiful French aspiring actress are too busy running away from murder and conspiracy to let physical attraction develop into love.
          And it doesn’t help that Her Majesty's Secret Service decides to take an interest in what everybody else is doing and to pull some strings of its own. Quite the contrary, in fact…

MOVIE - Jupiter Ascending

PG-13 (2:05)

Wide release 2/6/15

Viewed date at Roadhouse with Cyra on Friday, 2/6/2015

RT Critic: 22   Audience:   51

Cag:  1.5/Didn't like it, but it wasn't quite gag-worthy

Directed by Lana Wochowski & Andy Lochowski (who also wrote it)

Warner Borthers

Action/Adventure/ SciFi

Actors: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum

My comments:  Yuck.  I love a good sci-fi, but this sure wasn't a good one.  Lots of whizzing around in outer space, careening this way and that, explosions, light shows...but all without being able to tell what was going on, lots of plot "stuff" you had to guess at...but lots and lots and LOTS of really great ears.  Yup, ears.  All the space aliens had different weird ears, and I loved 'em all!

RT Summary: From the streets of Chicago to the far-flung galaxies whirling through space, "Jupiter Ascending" tells the story of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who was born under a night sky, with signs predicting she was destined for great things. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning other people's houses and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along-her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos.

1. Grounded - Heather Ordover

Supposedly #1 in a series (called The Seven) ....

Read on my iPhone

2013, Crafting a Life Books

482 (endless) pgs.

YA fantasy-ish

Finished 1/1/2014

Goodreads rating: 4.19 (this is very hard for me to believe)

My rating:  (1) Yuck

1st sixth - Tucson, AZ, the rest in Brooklyn NY and Stockbridge, MA

1st sentence/s: "This all started because I lit my boyfriend on fire."

My comments:  Holy catfish, this book was NOT for me.  It was endless, but I had no other book on my phone so this was it. I so badly wanted to like it, particularly for the parts that described Tucson so beautifully, but this was a definite DRONE....on and on and on and on with very little meat. Sketchy, too.  There are so few books that I flat out don't like, and my apologies to the author, but....

Goodreads book summary:  Hannah Rose was able to convince herself that she was a normal teenager, even though she usually knew exactly what was about to happen next. Until one day when she set her jerk of an ex-boyfriend on fire-from 15 feet away-propelling herself into a world of weirdness.       
          Rosie is sent to live with her aunt in Brooklyn. There, Rosie discovers a family legacy of strange abilities and dangerous talents. Her training tests her gifts-and her patience-but over the summer she does begin to learn to control her unique skills and meets a boy with equally dangerous strengths. Together, they find a sort of peace that neither has ever experienced, and it looks like it will last-until disaster breaks them apart in a way neither saw coming.

56. Dangerous Passage - Lisa Harris

Supposedly Book #1 in a series called Southern Crimes

2013 Revell Publishing

311 pgs.

Romantic Christian Murder Mystery (HA!)

Finished 9/9/1014

Goodreads rating: 4.01

My rating:    1/Yuck

Acquired TPPL

Setting: Contemporary Atlanta (although I got no particular feel for the city)

1st sentence/s:"After another grueling weekend wrapping up another homicide, Detective Avery North was not about to let anything get in the way of her one nonnegotiable indulgence on her first day off in two weeks."

My comments:  My favorite genre is murder mystery, but this only falls softly into that genre.  This is much more a romantic novel.  There is no information about the nitty-gritty of the investigation, anything vital, the little details that I particularly enjoy, were not even mentioned.  The protagonist, a female detective, was an unbelievable character for me.  She spent most of her time on the job fretting about whether or not she was ready for a relationship, worrying about her teenage daughter, or sending little prayers upward. The mystery itself wasn't even particularly believable to me.  The question of motive was never fully examined and I was left with a huge question mark over my head.  I applaud the author for trying to bring to the forefront human trafficking, but this book just didn't do it for me. It might for others, though.

Goodreads book summary:  When two Jane Does are killed on the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia, detective and behavioral specialist Avery North discovers they share something in common--a tattoo of a magnolia on their shoulders. Suspecting a serial killer, Avery joins forces with medical examiner Jackson Bryant to solve the crimes and prevent another murder. But it doesn't take long for them to realize that there is much more to the case than meets the eye. As they venture deep into a sinister world of human trafficking, Avery and Jackson are taken to the very edge of their abilities--and their hearts. 
"Dangerous Passage "exposes a fully-realized and frightening world where every layer peeled back reveals more challenges ahead. Romantic suspense fans will be hooked from the start by Lisa Harris's first installment of the new Southern Crimes series

7. Deadly Harvest - Heather Graham

There are supposedly three books, each about a different PI brother....This is Flynn Brothers #2

Audio read by Phil Gigante

9 unabridged discs/ 10:28

2008, Brilliance Audio

385 pgs.

Finished 1/28/2014

Adult Murder Mystery

Goodreads Rating: 3.96 (Whaaaaa?)

My Rating:  1/Didn't like it at all -  actually, it was painful .....

TPPL

Setting: Contemporary Salem, Massachusetts

My comments:  Yuck.  I always hate writing a negative review, it makes me feel so badly for the author.  But this book really stunk.  Predictable, repetitious, boring dialogue, stereotypical relationships, characters that could be interchangeable, a head-scratching inclusion of the sort-of-supernatural....and a depiction of the city of contemporary Salem, Massachusetts that is completely misleading.  Top that off with an audio reading that gives the characters crazy southern accents and I'm left cringing.  I can't believe I finished it.  Yuck.  Again.  No more Heather Graham for me.  Just not my cuppa tea.

Goodreads:  When a young woman is found dead in a field, dressed up as a scarecrow with a slashed grin and a broken neck, the residents of Salem, Massachusetts, begin to fear that the infamous Harvest Man is more than just a rumor. But out-of-town cop Jeremy Flynn doesn't have time for ghost stories. He's in town on another investigation, looking for a friend's wife, who mysteriously vanished in a cemetery.  

     Complicating his efforts is local occult expert Rowenna Cavanaugh, who launches her own investigation, convinced that a horror from the past has crept into the present and is seducing women to their deaths. Jeremy uses logic and solid police work. Rowenna depends on intuition. But they both have the same goal: to stop the abductions and locate the missing women before Rowenna herself falls prey to the Harvest Man's dark seduction.

30. Saint - Ted Dekker

Read by Kevin King (he was the only thing that kept me reading all the way to the end)

2006, Brilliance Audio

9 cds/ 10 hours

$36.95

For: adults

One of the worst books I’ve ever read

Setting:  Hungary, New York City, Colorado, present day

Carl has been programmed to be a human robot.  Using drugs, isolation, mind-control, he is one of the best assassins that the world has ever seen. He no longer knows who he is or where he came from.  He’s manipulated and told a different story constantly.  His handler, Kelly, becomes the person he loves, and apparently she comes to love him too.  Love?  The most unbelievable love I’ve ever known.  And repetition is not used effectively here, it’s just monotonous, boring.  Then the story passes believability and surges into an ominous faith…in God?...it’s hard to tell….and weird happenings that are not believable even in this partially fantasy world.  Mind control, the space between atoms and molecules, I love sci fi and fantasy, spy thrillers and murder mysteries, but this book was none of those.  Just ridiculous spoutings.  Jumping around and throwing something out of the blue with absolutely no foreshadowing defies believability.  I could have –and should have – loved what the PREMISE of this book is, but I didn’t.  I hated it.  I can’t believe I plugged on…and on…and on (those last two cds were ENDLESS)…but it was read so well I stuck it out.  YUCK!